Whilst studying Organizational Change and Behavior in my late 20’s, our lecturer told us in no uncertain terms that the environment was stronger than those in it. We couldn’t change the culture of a company. The truth was the leader was the only one capable of such a thing. For many years I have repeated this mantra and observed it in my own experiences in affecting change in companies.

The cog I missed in this message, was that being able to NOT be effected by that around us is what we should be aiming for. It’s not only the business world, it’s our everyday life that needs this focus as well. The sage advice spun out on gold threads for years has been exactly this. Don’t look for the answers outside of yourself, look to the inner world. Don’t go buying things to fill the whole inside you, it will continue to be empty if we do.

The truth is, it is extremely difficult to not be affected by that going on around us. Excruciatingly hard. Our boss tells us we aren’t doing a good job, triggers off a field of emotions about us not being good enough, our job now on the line. Our partner is in a terrible mood, uttering nothing more than grunts once they get home. Our children want more food, more money, more attention. The impact of our world around us is all pervasive.

After many many years of reading, searching and scouring for answers, I’ve come to the place visited by many before. I knew it was there. I saw the front door years ago, yet didn’t want to really believe. To believe means to take responsibility and to then take action. To see the door means it’s hard as no longer can you waste time searching or blaming or concocting stories to fill in space.

It’s taking the time to be in solitude, not with ourselves and our thoughts, but in a place of surrender, letting go and nothingness. No thoughts, no memories, no patterns that we just keep repeating. 90% of the thoughts you will have today, are the same you had the say before – this pattern starts around age 35. So, to change, to be stronger than the environment around us, means we have to change the way WE think about ourselves. This is really hard. This means sitting and meditating, through a guided meditation that will require you to sit still and stop thinking about everything and everyone around you. It will be one of the hardest things you will ever do.

And this is why I’ve looked everywhere but here to find my answers. Do I have them? Not sure. But what I do have is a little freedom, a flight from my day, a place to escape into – me. I feel happier, a little more joy and fun is in my days because I know I have a choice. A choice to believe and think as I’ve always done or to change. This is the place I’ve come to rest, a place that knows I am stronger than my environment, just as Victor Frankl found in Man’s Search for Meaning. The one thing that can not be taken from us is what and how we think, even in concentration camps. Those who survived had hope, they had their minds and thus they had control.

No matter the world around us right now, there is a place you can go for freedom and reprieve. You.

Sending love today.

Shelley.

Kindarma.

About Shelley

Shelley Buchanan is the Co-Founder of Kindarma. She is passionate about educating and empowering others who are on their own journey towards finding connection, joy and healing in their lives. Kindarma was created to support those who are in need of support whilst on that journey.

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