It has taken me a long time to realize that when someone shows who they are to me, they don’t want to be fixed.

They are doing so, in an attempt to be seen. They don’t want their pain to be neatly packaged up and swept under the carpet.

We really want someone to bear witness to our journey so that we can be listened to. When we are in pain we are looking for connection, not solutions.

In the attempt to contain my own pain, and protect myself from feeling it, I attempted to fix and save others.

Pain is the transformer. It is the one thing that makes us go inside. Inside ourselves to see our true self. It takes courage to do so. For many years I covered it over with distractions of busyness, alcohol, an eating disorder, and poor relationship choices.

No one told me that in the pain is the magic. So, I looked for the magic in everyone else. They would give me the answer to my pain, I thought. I found magic in so many others, but was left disappointed as I continually neglected my own.

I talked too much, ran too fast and avoided those who told me to slow down and listen. Listen to myself. I gave Guru status to anyone who showed me a sliver of insight. Ignoring my own.

The guru lies in us all. This is our connection to God. When we are brave enough to sit in our own pain without needing the approval of anyone else, this allows us to be our true self.

At Kindarma, we are here to listen. Not to fix. We are here to support you, in your journey to yourself. I’ve tried fixing many others when it was me that needed to face my pain all along and come home to myself.

Maybe we can sit with you as you face your precious journey to yourself. No advice – we promise.

About Shelley

Shelley Buchanan is the Co-Founder of Kindarma. She is passionate about educating and empowering others who are on their own journey towards finding connection, joy and healing in their lives. Kindarma was created to support those who are in need of support whilst on that journey.

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